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Velvet Digest

What do you wear to a wake?

Author

Eleanor Gray

Updated on April 24, 2026

What is appropriate to wear to a wake? A wake is a formal occasion, and your attire should reflect that. Any sort of business clothes such as a shirt and tie, a dress, nice pants and a top in dark colors would be suitable and appropriate. Avoid bright colors and clothing that is revealing or flamboyant.

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Furthermore, what do you wear to a wake vs funeral?

A wake might be slightly less formal than a funeral, but it still requires a polished, put-together look. A nice sweater and trousers are about as casual as you can go. Better to wear a jacket, neat shirt or blouse and trousers or skirt. Avoid big patterns, sequins, or anything that makes noise.

can you wear white to a wake? Men can wear a dark jacket and slacks with dark shoes and a white or plain button up shirt. Women can wear a pantsuit or a dress. Normally, jeans or casual clothing to a funeral is not common.

In respect to this, what do you do at a wake?

Steps

  1. Write a sympathy card.
  2. Bring a gift as indicated by the family.
  3. Talk to other people in the receiving line.
  4. Pay your respects to the deceased (if the casket is present).
  5. Tailor your conversations to suit the nature of the wake.
  6. Give the bereaved simple, but not trite, words of support.

Can you wear khakis to a wake?

You don't have to wear black but a wake isn't the place to wear your leopard print blouse or salmon colored khakis. Stick with neutral colors like navy, grey and dark green.

Related Question Answers

Do you wear shoes in a casket?

No, you don't have to, but some people do. People bring slippers, boots or shoes. When we dress a person in a casket, it can be whatever the family wants them to wear. Now you're seeing men dressed in flannel shirts and jeans.

How long should you stay at a wake?

How long does a wake last? A wake typically lasts anywhere from two to six hours depending on the circumstances. They hold them in the early evening hours of the day preceding the funeral service.

Do you give money at a wake?

The answer is usually - No. It is not an appropriate gift. As always in life, protocols are not set in stone and there are ways to give money if you feel the need. Here are some ideas on offering money and other appropriate memorial gifts before, during or after a funeral service.

What do you say to someone at a wake?

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief
  1. I am so sorry for your loss.
  2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
  3. I don't know how you feel, but I am here to help in anyway I can.
  4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. I have a ton of bacon in my car with your name on it.

Do you have to wear all black to a funeral?

Because a funeral is a somber occasion, it is best to dress in conservative colors and styles. You don't have to wear all black, but it is acceptable to do so. You will probably want to avoid a bright floral dress or wild print or neon necktie, unless the family of the deceased asks you to.

How should a woman dress for a wake?

Proper Wake Attire for Women You don't have to wear black, but it is acceptable if you decide to wear all black. Other colors include navy blue, gray, blush colors, and neutrals such as beige. You also want to keep accessories simple, avoid wearing big earrings, chunky necklaces, and layered bracelets.

Do you wear black to a viewing?

Wake: What to Wear What to wear to a wake, viewing, or visitation is essentially what you would wear to a funeral. In other words, no glam and no flash but clothing that reflects the somber nature of the event. Black is no longer a requirement but common sense is.

What is appropriate for a woman to wear to a funeral?

Appropriate outfits for women to wear to a funeral include a skirt suit or pantsuit; a skirt of appropriate length (not a mini skirt) or pants (not jeans) and a top with sleeves, a blouse, or a sweater; flats or pumps (not sneakers). In some regions, religions, and cultures, women may wear hats to funerals.

Is it OK to go to a wake but not the funeral?

The short answer is, yes. It's usually just fine to attend both the wake and the funeral. Especially if the person who dies was someone you knew very well. In fact, most people would consider it the respectable thing to do.

Is a wake just for family?

Wakes and viewings are usually open to all guests, though if the family has not invited you or specified that the event is family-only, you should respect their wishes and not attend. You should not feel pressured to view the body, and if you are uncomfortable viewing the body then you should consider not doing so.

How much money do you give at a funeral?

A general rule of thumb is that donations should be in line with the cost of a bouquet of funeral flowers. Even just a nominal donation for people on tight budgets is a welcome gesture. Funeral flowers tend to cost in the range of $50 to $80 for a moderate to well-sized bouquet, and $100 or more for a large wreath.

Who should attend a wake?

The body is present at this time for people to pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the deceased. Generally speaking, the public is invited to attend the wake, even if there's no personal relationship with the family.

Is it disrespectful to not go to a funeral?

There are several reasons a person may choose not to attend a funeral of a relative, including distance, expense, important prior obligations, and the fact that the deceased or one of the other people sure to be at the funeral was a monster and the thought of going makes you physically ill.

When should you not go to a funeral?

Unless the family wants the funeral or memorial service to be private, you are welcome to attend. If you are close to the bereaved or the deceased, live close by and have no extenuating circumstances, then, by all means, go to the funeral. In fact, if you don't go, your presence may be missed.

What is the difference between a wake and a viewing?

During a viewing, the body of the deceased is present, often in an open casket. A wake may also be more of a social event than a viewing is, with a group all gathering together at the same time to honor the deceased before the funeral. The term “wake” comes from an Old English term that means to keep watch.

Do you bring anything to a viewing?

It is appropriate to send flowers for the funeral, live plants that the family members can bring home later, or donations to the favorite charity of the deceased. The most important thing is to honor the wishes of the family. It's best not to bring flowers, plants, or donations with you to the funeral.

What to say at a funeral when you don't know the person?

If you personally cannot say anything, a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" is always appreciated. Another option would be to mention something you've been told about the deceased by your friend, like: "Charlie always said his 'Nan was a fantastic cook. I know he'll really miss her sweet smile and apple crisp."

Is it disrespectful to wear white at a funeral?

As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.

Can pallbearers wear GREY?

Not many agree with me, but I think a black suit is most appropriate for a funeral especially in your capacity as a pallbearer. However, it is also very acceptable to wear a dark Navy or charcoal grey suit. The shirt and tie should WHITE and the tie very dark and simple.